


find what you're looking for

by finkpishnets



Category: Backstage (TV 2016)
Genre: M/M, Past Miles Lennox/Alya Kendrick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 02:43:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7341403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finkpishnets/pseuds/finkpishnets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miles and Alya break up two weeks into sophomore year. Jax is a-okay with that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	find what you're looking for

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to say "I can't believe I wrote this" but, yes, yes I can.

 

**+**

 

Miles and Alya break up two weeks into sophomore year, and Jax is pretty sure it’s his job to do the supportive bro thing. He buys, like, eight tubs of ice cream and grabs every violent video game he owns and carts them all off to Miles’ house only for Miles to laugh in his face and steal _all_ the chocolate flavours because he might be Jax’s best friend but he’s also a dick.

“No wonder Alya broke up with you,” he says, even though he has no idea what actually went down. Miles just rolls his eyes which means it was probably the other way ‘round or sickeningly amicable, and Jax likes Alya, she’s his friend — or, okay, they’re friend _ly_ , mostly because of Miles (totally because of Miles) — but the two of them were together, like, _all the time_ , and Jax can’t pretend he’s not super happy to have his best friend back.

“Pass me the controller,” Miles says, “I’m suffering from a broken heart so I can’t move.”

“You’re the worst,” Jax says, mostly impressed that Miles has managed to keep a straight face. “I’d hate to be your girlfriend, it’d end in murder-suicide.” He thinks for a moment. “Actually, just the murder part. I’m way too talented to deprive the world of all this. I could be the first successful, incarcerated DJ.”

Miles throws a spoon at him because destroying Jax’s dreams is one of his favourite pastimes. “Controller,” he says. “Also try and keep your delusions of grandeur to a manageable level. This room’s barely big enough for your ego as it is.”

“Bite me,” Jax says. “Also gimme the Cookie Dough, _god_. You’re _sick_ , what are you doing with all that sugar?”

“You bought it,” Miles says. “Is this part of the murder thing? I mean, if so, thanks man. There are far worse ways to go.”

He grabs Jax’s arm and pulls him off the bed because he’s a shit human being, and Jax lets him lean his head on his shoulder for a moment and wonders if Miles is feeling sad or guilty or both and whether he can feasibly suggest they set Bianca on Alya or if that’s taking things too far.

“Sorry, dude,” he says, resting his ear against Miles’ over-styled hair and watching the condensation from the nearest ice cream tub begin to pool on Miles’ hardwood floor. 

“S’okay,” Miles says, but he stays where he is for a little while longer anyway.

 

**+**

 

“I should ask Miles out,” Bianca says, and Jax crosses his arms and hopes that he looks as unimpressed as he feels. “Oh _fine_ ,” she says, flicking her hair over her shoulder. “You spoil all my fun.”

“Sure,” Jax says, “ _or_ I stop you doing all those instinctual things that mean no one talks to you for a month.”

“That happened _once_ ,” Bianca says, which is a boldfaced lie but Jax doesn’t call her on it because being friends with Bianca means learning when to pick his battles. It’s _exhausting_.

Their drinks arrive, and they wait until the barista’s gone before switching cups. Jax isn’t sure his street cred would survive the iced caramel-hazelnut latte with extra whipped cream now sat in front of him, especially when Bianca adds nothing but a single sachet of sugar to her strong black coffee, but he loves her for just raising a disgusted eyebrow and never actually calling him out on it. 

It’s possible Jax thinks Bianca’s actually a pretty awesome person, but whatever.

“Still,” she says eventually, “Miles is back on the market. I’m not the only one who’s going to take notice.”

Jax hooks his ankles around his chair legs and focuses on digging the straw further into his plastic cup. “Yeah, I know,” he says, because he _does_. Miles is a good looking, talented guy, and he already has, like, most of the female population of Keaton falling over themselves just for a smile. It’s not a leap to assume Monday’s going to be a free for all. 

Jax isn’t _jealous_ — he’s dated a couple of girls in the last year, most notably Bianca for two drama-filled months, and Kit for an awkward hot second she’ll never let him live down — but it leaves him feeling uneasy anyway.

“Oh for pity’s sake,” Bianca says, rolling her eyes. “Don’t worry, he’ll always love you best.”

Jax scoffs and ignores the burning high on his cheeks, and doesn’t object even a little bit when Bianca changes the subject to her latest audition.

 

**+**

 

Alya’s splitting her time between sighing heavily and writing bitter songs about heartbreak that are actually pretty great. Jax would love to get his hands on a couple to remix but he’s, like, ninety-percent sure that’s not the done thing, and also every time she takes the mic Miles gets this guilty look on his face that makes Jax think it’s best he just steers clear of the whole situation.

It’s a great plan until Alya corners him by his locker and thrusts a box into his hands.

“That’s all of Miles’ stuff that was at my place,” she says. “I thought he might want it back.”

“Uh,” Jax says. “Sure.”

Alya folds her arms over her chest and looks at a spot near Jax’s left ear. “I’m not _angry_ ,” she says, “I’m just hurt right now.”

“Yeah,” he says, and because he actually does sort of like Alya — especially when she and Miles aren’t joined at the hip — he reaches out an arm and pulls her into a half hug that ranks up there as one of the more awkward experiences of his life. “Sorry.”

Alya scrunches her mouth up at the side and blinks back tears, and Jax feels kind of awful for being so happy about the breakup. It’s not like he can _help_ it, but he didn’t actually want to have one of the nicest girls at the school almost crying on him either.

“Okay,” Alya says, shaking it off. “I should go. I think Bianca’s trying to bond with me, which…she is _aware_ she’s never dated Miles, right?”

“Who knows?” Jax says. “You could remind her she dated _me_ , though. She likes to pretend she’s forgotten.” 

Alya’s laugh is shaky but real, and Jax isn’t sure when he became the group councillor or whatever, but if it means the drama levels drop to acceptable levels of entertaining then he’s more than okay with it.

As long as there’s no _actual_ crying.

That’s taking it too far.

 

**+**

 

Mr. Park assigns them their next in a long line of duets, and Jax pokes Miles in the ribs until he goes and begs Park to let them work together even though they’re usually separated for their own “productivity.” Which is total bullshit because Miles is a freaking slave driver when he wants to be, okay, and Jax is amazed at how many people get taken in by those damn puppy eyes.

Jax tries not to look too smug when Miles shoots him a thumbs up and probably fails given the serious finger Park points his way, but whatever.

“If you’re just using me to avoid Alya, I’ll be devastated,” Jax says, swinging an arm around Miles’ shoulders and grinning into his ear.

“Yep,” Miles says, sliding down into his seat but not shrugging Jax off. “That’s exactly it. Oh, the levels I’ll sink to!”

“You suck at sarcasm,” Jax tells him, because he _does_ , and because Jax is majorly disappointed in him. It’s like he’s not rubbed off on Miles at _all_.

“I know,” Miles says. “I realized earlier when I told you I liked your shirt and you thought I was serious.”

Jax can’t help the burst of laughter _or_ the headlock he pulls Miles into, so he’s really not convinced the detention is deserved.

 

**+**

 

There’s this whole thing where Jax is maybe, kinda, _slightly_ overprotective when it comes to Miles’ health. He can’t help it; it’s not _his_ fault if the guy’ll go the whole school day without eating because he’s so caught up in whatever piece he’s working on, or end up binge watching boxsets Jax lends him until the early hours of the morning and then fall asleep on Jax’s shoulder whilst Park pretends not to notice. 

Miles is on top of the important parts, like his meds and the amount of water he drinks and making doctors appointments, it’s just the _other_ stuff he’s totally useless at. So, Jax picks up the slack.

“This is a _lot_ of food, man,” Miles says, staring down at the actual-for-real picnic Jax’s carted in with him. He may have overdone the research a bit, but this is easily the healthiest lunch he’s ever seen so Miles can stop blinking at it any time now.

“Yes,” Jax says, pushing a tuna salad across the table and giving Miles the look he reserves for Serious Health Stuff. Miles opens his mouth as if he’s going to protest and then changes his mind and picks up a fork, ducking his head to hide his earnest smile. Jax beams back at him even though Miles is too busy looking at his food to notice.

“Sweet,” Kit says, reaching out to snag a peach as she passes. Jax smacks her hand away and she shoots him an offended glare.

“Not for you,” he says, and she rolls her eyes and looks about two seconds away from spitting vitriol. 

“Come on, dude,” Miles says, “there’s no _way_ I’m eating all of this.” He blinks those ridiculous puppy dog eyes at him, and Kit laughs, picking up the peach with a smug smile that says they both know Jax has lost this round.

Jax rolls his eyes and waves Kit away, and she laughs but goes, throwing him a one-fingered salute over her shoulder.

“This was really cool of you,” Miles says, and Jax shuffles on the bench, drumming a plastic fork against the wood and refusing to meets Miles’ eye.

“Just eat your salad,” he says, and Miles laughs under his breath and does as he’s told.

 

**+**

 

The thing is, Jax isn’t actually oblivious.

Kit’d laugh in his face and tell him he’s got about as much of a clue as a Scooby Doo villain if he said it aloud, but, yeah, he actually does know what that buzzing under his skin means whenever Miles laughs at one of his jokes or slings an arm around him or chooses to talk to him over everyone else. 

He’s known for a year — since cake and secrets and the way Miles dug under his skin so quickly it left him reeling — and he also knows it’s why things didn’t work out with Bianca, and why Kit looked at him like he was crazy when he confused two of their hang outs as dates and proceeded to give him a lecture on the ins and outs of the ace spectrum, complete with _super_ detailed power points, and giving him a look that told him exactly how dense she thought he was.

But he’s not, is the thing.

He knows he’s gay.

He also knows this crush he has on Miles? Has reached _way_ beyond ridiculous.

So, yeah.

 

**+**

 

Jax has just put the finishing touches on a new track and it’s _awesome_. Even Kit says it’s pretty good when he sends it to her, which is about as high a praise margin as he’s ever received from her, _so_ … Anyway, it means that whatever Saturday sporting plans Miles may have had are being put on hold because it’s super important he hears it immediately.

“It’s really cool, man,” Miles says after Jax plays it through for the third time. He’s still in his pajamas, sat crosslegged on his bed whilst Jax spins circles on his desk chair, and, okay, Jax should probably have thought before barging in at nine a.m. on a weekend but exceptions must be made for genius.

“ _Right?_ ” he says, turning up the volume as much as he can without disturbing Mr and Mrs Lennox. He leans his head back on the next turn, closing his eyes and grinning as the beat trips through the room. Miles coughs and Jax can faintly hear the rustle of his comforter.

He presses his toes into the floor, coming to a slow stop and blinking at Miles who’s watching him with an unfamiliar expression. 

“What?” he says, and Miles shakes his head, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck.

“Nothing,” he says, shooting Jax a self-deprecating smile. “Play it again.”

“Well,” Jax says, feeling warm and proud and dizzy, “If you insist…”

 

**+**

 

Miles misses class, and Jax makes it to second period before cornering Park for info. He’s been checking his phone religiously but so far there’s been zilch, and this isn’t _like_ Miles, he doesn’t just take a day off, and, yeah, Jax has skipped over worried and gone directly to meltdown but he thinks, given the circumstances, it’s totally warranted.

“I don’t _know_ , Mr Gardner,” Park says, collecting papers and eyeing the clock. Jax folds his arms over his chest and doesn’t budge. “Look, the school hasn’t received a call from his parents so, _oh_ , I don’t know, maybe he _slept in_ like a normal, tardy teenager?”

“Or maybe they didn’t call because it’s _serious_ ,” Jax says, not bothering to hide the tension in his voice.

Park sighs. “If I find anything out, I’ll let you know,” he says sympathetically, and Jax nods and focuses on a spot to the right of his shoulder instead of looking him in the eye. 

The time until lunch drags, and Jax learns less than nothing and barely avoids half a dozen detentions for having his phone out in class. Alya shoots him looks that tell him she’s concerned too, and he knows he could commiserate with her but— he doesn’t _want_ to. He’s finally got Miles back all to himself, and it’s selfish and petty and ridiculous but Miles is _his_ best friend and Alya’s not a part of that equation anymore.

He’s seriously considering bailing and catching a bus across town to the Lennox place when he walks right into someone.

“Your phone’s that interesting?” Miles says, laughing, and Jax stares up at him for a moment before punching him in the arm.

“Where have you _been?_ ” he says, voice raised and urgent. “I was freaking out, man!”

“Sorry,” Miles says, rubbing at his sleeve. “My doctor called and had to change the time of some tests.”

The hallway’s mostly cleared, and Jax knows he’s standing too close, knows he should wave it off and go force-feed Miles something green in the courtyard, but he’s opening his mouth and saying, “I was really worried,” too earnestly and too honestly before he can stop himself.

Miles stares at him for a long moment before reaching for his hand and squeezing gently. “I’m sorry,” he says. “Next time I’m gonna be late, I’ll text.” 

Jax stares down at their joined fingers and forgets to breathe, and eventually Miles pulls away. 

“Come on,” Miles says, shrugging awkwardly. “I’ll buy you an apology lunch.”

Jax watches him walk off and wonders what the hell just happened.

 

**+**

 

“Why’d you break up with Alya?” Jax asks when he can’t take it anymore. They’ve been given permission to duck out of class and use the recording booths, so the hallway’s empty at least, but he still looks away too quickly, blinking at the floor. “Uh—”

Miles stops walking, freezing by a row of freshman lockers and staring at Jax with wide eyes, and it’s enough of a reaction to make Jax stop too.

The thing is—

The thing _is_ , Jax is pretty sure he knows the answer, and he wants to be right _so bad_ , but if he’s not then he’s just going to make a bigger idiot of himself than usual, and Miles is usually good enough to brush his less stellar moments off, but this time…

Miles still isn’t saying anything, just watching Jax with an expression Jax doesn’t recognize, and _he could be wrong, he could be wrong, he could be wrong._

Jax closes the distance between them and presses a lightning fast kiss against Miles’ lips. It’s too quick for details, too quick for him to take note of the buzzing under his skin telling him this is such a stupid idea, but when he pulls away he can’t help but blink at Miles’ mouth, imagining he can see the impression left there.

He lifts his eyes just enough to take in Miles’ reaction and almost sinks to the ground in relief at the way Miles is looking back at him. 

“I—” Miles starts, cutting himself off with a shake of the head and reaching out to grip Jax’s arms and pull him closer. Jax is _totally_ okay with that development, and even more so when Miles lets out a shaky sigh and kisses him back, a _real_ kiss that has Jax’s fingers twisting into the sleeves of Miles’ t-shirt and his heart racing at a speed that’s probably super unhealthy. 

“I broke up with Alya because I liked someone else,” Miles says when they pull apart, and Jax wants to whoop and cheer and remix a _thousand_ songs about what it’s like when your best friend likes you _back_. 

“I better be that someone else,” he says instead, and wonders if his voice sounds as breathless to Miles as it does to him, “otherwise I’m setting Bianca _and_ Kit on you and charging admission for the show.”

Miles laughs, running his hands down Jax’s arms and looking as giddy as Jax feels. “I guess you _might_ be,” he says, and can’t seem to stop himself from dropping another kiss to the corner of Jax’s mouth. “ _Maybe._ ”

“You could have just _told me_ , you know?” Jax says and can’t stop grinning long enough for the words to hold any gravity. 

Miles shrugs. “I was nervous,” he admits, and, _oh_ , Jax is gonna mock him until the end of days for that one.

“I make you _nervous_ ,” he sings, and Miles pokes him in the side as Jax laughs.

“Come on,” Miles says, rolling his eyes, “we’re supposed to be working on our duet.” 

He bites the corner of his lip and then holds out his hand, watching Jax carefully, and _geez_ , Kit’s never ever going to let him live this down.

He slides his fingers between Miles’ and holds on tight.

“ _Fine_ ,” Jax says, “but later you’re asking me out for real.”

“Okay,” Miles says, and, _yeah_.

Okay.

_Okay_.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [tumblr](http://madroxed.tumblr.com/).


End file.
